The following is a guide to use in overcoming your shyness with single women. Follow these steps and you can overcome your shyness and start picking up single women instead of standing on the sidelines watching other men meet & pick up hot & sexy single women.
1. One of the biggest roadblocks to a shy man in picking up single women is fear. Fear that he will be rejected, fear that he won't know what to say, and fear that he won't know how to act.
Believe me, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear and anxiety will produce distinct psychological consequences and if there's anything that's going to hinder your success in picking up single women, it is going to be fear.
The fear of being rejected by a woman can paralyze your attempts to pick up single women. Accept the fact that you're going to get rejected some of the time. Just because you get rejected by a woman it does not make you worthless. There can be many different reasons why a woman may not be interested in you at a given moment. Most of these reasons have little or nothing to do with you as a person. Being rejected by a woman is just a risk you will have to take and if you do get rejected by a woman, it's not the end of the world.
Keep this in mind if you get rejected by a woman. No matter how many single women are not interested in you, you must remember there are many other single women out there, many of who would be delighted to know you.
To overcome these fears and pick up single women for some love, sex, and romance you have got to approach it like you would if you were going to jump in a cold ocean to go swimming. Hurl yourself into it. Take action!
You have got to practice at picking up single women. Sure, you'll get rejected a few times. We all do. So what if you get rejected. You may never see her again anyway. By practicing, you'll build up your confidence. Also, by accepting the fact that you're only practicing picking up single women, the pressure to succeed won't be so great. .
2. Has this ever happened to you? You see this beautiful single woman that you would love to meet. You try to build up your nerve to approach her and you make up an excuse not to approach her like, "I'm too scared" or "I'm too nervous."
Pondering, stalling, postponing, reconsidering, these are all delaying tactics that impede action. If you find yourself telling yourself these lies and making excuses, block them out of your mind immediately and take action and approach that woman right then and there. Don't waste any time or you'll see one single woman after another walk right out of your life. Don't delay trying to pick up a woman or you might find yourself delaying all your life.
3. Get rid of the idea that people are always watching you, sizing you up and evaluating you. The only people who do this are shy people who spend a lot of time fearing that they are being evaluated negatively. The reason you think you are being watched is because you do this to others.
The solution to breaking this habit is to stop judging and sizing people up and you will stop thinking that others are doing the same to you. Don't worry about people evaluating you unfavorably, because the reason for this is that they think they are better than you.
4. Shy men have difficulty in carrying on a conversation with the opposite sex. You're going to have to work on sharpening up your conversational skills. If you don't have any skills, you're going to have to develop some. You're not going to meet many single women unless you talk to them.
"If I Ask a Woman to Dance and She Turns Me Down Or If I Talk to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I am Not Worthwhile Or Good Enough For Her."
This irrational belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman and produces low self-esteem when they are rejected. This fear of being rejected and turned down prevents shy men from making contact with single women.
For example, If you're turned down for a dance, it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance, period. There can be a number of reasons. So don't take it personally.
However, what I do in a case like this is to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes, maybe I'll ask her again later. In the mean time I'll ask other women to dance. What works best for me when they turn me down to dance is that I will ask them, "If you don't want to dance right now, do you mind if I join you for some conversation?" I was rarely turned down.
A word about getting rejected for a dance. A lot of guys get turned down to dance, so don't feel that you're the only guy in the world that happens to. It happens to all guys, even handsome guys.
If you approach a single woman and try to start up a conversation and she ignores you, don't take that personally either. She just may not feel like talking or being bothered. Perhaps she's tied down to a boyfriend or even married. Also, you just might not be using the proper social skills. So if she ignores you, move on to the next woman and you'll find someone who will respond to your advances.
"The Odds Are Slim of a Woman Being Interested And Attracted to Me."
This is the guy that has fixed opinions about himself and makes up excuses such as, "I'm not very lucky with women" or "I just don't stand a chance of picking up a woman" or "There aren't any good places where I can meet single women." These are just defensive statements to avoid placing the blame where it really belongs and that's on yourself. You just haven't tried hard enough to pick up a woman. That's where the real problem lies.
Make it a point to block these beliefs out of your mind because they will hinder you from seeking out single women using your own initiative.
"If I Stand Around Long Enough, Maybe Something Will Happen."
Nothing could be farther from the truth. Waiting around for something to happen will most likely accomplish nothing. This will produce little action, if any at all. I just can't tell you how many nights I've wasted at nightclubs waiting for something to happen, that is until I wised up. If you wait for a woman to approach you and strike up a conversation, you'll be waiting all night. You have got to take the initiative and create your own action, it's not going to come to you out of the clear blue sky.
"Most Guys Are Lucky That Pick Up Women."
This is a very mistaken notion that picking up single women happens to other guys because of luck and good breaks. Picking up or meeting a single woman rarely happens just by accident. Somebody has to take that first step to initiate contact with a woman. The only difference between you and the other guy is he takes action, not because of a stroke of luck. So remember, you must go out and initiate action. You must make the effort to pick up single women.
"If A Single Woman Doesn't Show She Likes Me Right Away, She Really Doesn't Like Me And Will Never Like Me."
This is an unproductive belief that a single woman, upon first meeting her, must show complete interest in you by verbal and non-verbal communication.
This is perfect example of this misconception: You ask a woman to dance and she readily accepts. After the dance is over she accepts another guys invitation to dance. You get all upset and say to yourself, "If she was really interested in me, she would have found some excuse not to dance with that guy when he asked her."
What this guy doesn't know is that in the majority of cases like this, is that when interest is not immediately shown to the other, this doesn't mean that the possibility of liking you may not be there.
So, don't give up on a woman if she accepts another guys invitation to dance. Just keep on pursuing her.
In conclusion, it is rare when a single woman will show her liking and interest in you following a brief initial meeting. Prolonged communication and conversation are necessary before she can feel comfortable in showing her interest in you.
"If You're Going to Make It With a Woman, You'll Both Know It When You Meet And There Won't Be Any Problem."
This is the guy who is waiting for "love at first sight" to occur to initiate a relationship. Upon meeting a woman, if there are no vibrations or chemistry between them, he simply dismisses the encounter. He uses this as a defensive excuse for initiating any intimate contact with women.
Waiting for "love at first sight" will prevent you from establishing real friendships with the opposite sex out of casual acquaintances. You don't have to be madly in love with a woman to show interest and concern and to establish a friendly rapport.